Sermon 11.8.09

INTRODUCTION/SETUP

I LOVE your kids! I don't know why. For some reason God wired me so that I can play X-Box for five straight hours without getting up to pee. I've been given the uncanny ability to listen intently to hour-long stories about pets. I'm comfortable by the fact that every 17 year old that meets me has to size me up first- and they may easily conclude that I am not cool enough to compete for their time. I still giggle when someone farts in the dark. Don't tell me its not funny. I won't believe you.
I also love Jesus. And that's what has landed me here today. Youth ministry makes sense to me and I'm going talk a little bit about that this morning and the way I want to launch this thing is by sharing a little bit about our Cloud 9 retreat that we had two weeks ago. Now some of you are very familiar with this retreat and what it is and what goes on because we've been participating in it for many years now. Some of you are absolutely clueless and that is ok. I am too. Just regarding other things that you are probably very knowledgeable about.

CLOUD 9

So what essentially happens is that we transport over 500 kids by van, bus, or UPS from Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Canada, and other lands to a tiny camp in Hillsdale, MI called 'Michindoh'. We pack this place out. I think someone told me a story about waking up to find a kid sleeping in a shower one year. I don't know if he was the last one to camp or not but apparently he didn't want to sleep dirty. And this weekend is just packed with wholesome peanut butter chocolaty goodness. There is all the pingpong you can stomach. There is a climbing wall, paintball field, beautiful scenery, warm cabins, hot chocolate, and there is always a worship band almost as cool as Shaun Garth Walker!

WHY DO WE DO CLOUD 9?

I'll remind you- Cloud 9 is youth ministry to the max. It is hanging out with hundreds of people who are generations removed from you for an entire weekend. The music is loud. You typically do not get even close to eight hours of sleep and once you get home, you go to bed because you have to get up for work in the morning! We do events like Cloud 9 because we believe the opportunities matter. I believe kids matter. You see, something dangerous happens when young people seek out God. Something wild and crazy and just MIND-BENDING occurs when we spend hours of a weekend worshiping our God and asking him to be present. You know what happens? God shows up! He reveals himself to students and to parents and to leaders and to the worship team and to the squirrels chattering away outside! And when you encounter God, guess what? YOU DON'T GET TO BE THE SAME ANYMORE. For most of us, that's a good thing. We go to Cloud 9 because we want connect kids with God.

PERSONAL YOUTH MINISTRY EVOLUTION

You see, I decided I wanted to go into professional youth ministry when I was in high school because even as a 17 year old, God was shaping a part of my heart for middle school and high school students. And at the time, my understanding of youth ministry was simply that my job would be to tell kids about Jesus. So I said to myself, "Self, I need training." So I went to college and began my four-year degree in Youth Ministry. It was a six-week program but I graduated! And I remember learning in school that youth ministry was going to be a little more complicated. I learned that youth ministry rolls every potential college degree into one. So I have a partial degree in Accounting, Biology, Theology, Business, Sports Therapy, and Nursing because I have to keep a budget, understand adolescent transformations, teach about God and His kingdom, work with a church board and staff, play football in the church hallways, and fix broken bodies as a result of playing football in the church hallways. Dude! This is a lot more than just telling students about Jesus!
So I graduate and moved to Michigan and started my first youth ministry job. It was great. I was at a church of 200 members and had about 17 middle and high school kids to disciple. And this is where a new element entered the picture. You see I was doing good with the budget. They told me to spend more! I was doing good with the lessons. I was told that they were relevant and meaningful! I was doing great at the relationships because I can confidently tell you that Haley's favorite place to eat in town is Taco Bell and if I texted her right now she would meet me there as soon as I walk off this stage. The element I didn't know how to handle were parents. And this isn't because I forgot kids had parents. If you plan a couple youth group events for 10:00 on a school night and not even your volunteers show up, you know you're missing something. Now I had the basics down. I knew that parents needed to know details. They like the who/what/when/where/why/and how much is this one going to cost me? I knew that parents liked to hear good things about their children. "Mr. Smith, I just wanted to tell you that little Smith has been much less disruptive in Sunday school since we had our conversation a few weeks ago. I think he's really taken it to heart!" (He's actually sleeping in the corner of the Sunday school class and tuning everyone out but I don't add that part into the story)
One of my biggest mistakes was that I didn't make enough of a place for the parents in the youth ministry. I think I undervalued some of them and that stirred up heaps of trouble. I was a typical college kid whose sustenance was based primarily around Ramen noodles. It took me years to learn this but when you make pasta dishes, the water has a tendency to boil over. I still don't know why, when your pot is only half full of water and noodley components, that water still foams out the top and makes a terrible hissing noise on stove. If someone explains that to me after the celebration I will give you a candy bar. Because that's how I roll. But anyways I never remembered to lower the heat and it would boil over every time. Seriously. I nearly was banned from using the stove. Similarly I wasn't paying attention to the boiling noodles at the church and the boil over wasn't pretty. So what resulted was yet another revision of how I understood youth ministry. At first I thought, gee this is all wrong! Youth ministry is about the parents! Not the kids! If I can work with the parents and pour my heart and resources and giftings into them, then we're going to get much better results in the student ministries. Right? Because parents, you are SO IMPORTANT! So important!

IMPORTANCE OF PARENTS

See: Christian Smith (sociologist, University of N. Carolina), Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers. In this book, Smith walks us through an in-depth study of teenagers and religion and if you are a parent and you have not read this book I will recommend that you add it to your list of New Year's resolutions for 2010 because one of the things that they uncovered in their research, which may be surprising to some, is that PARENTS, present or absent, are the #1 influence in a teenagers' life. You have more influence that your children's friends. You have more influence that your youth pastor. And, believe it or not, you have more influence than the media! You may feel like #503 but you're really on top! You're #1! Especially when it comes to spirituality. Now, as a youth worker, I don't take this information lightly because I've started to see the interconnectivity associated with student ministries and its a complicated, messy web of Churchy awesomeness. You see there's this thing that happens in the church called community and its something we value very much at the Vineyard. In fact, you'll notice that it makes up one of the four church quadrants in the internationally best-selling book, Jesus Brand Spirituality, authored by Senior Pastor Ken Wilson and available for sale in the building's lobby! So parents, I want to make sure I do two things for you this morning. First, I want to make sure I communicate to you from this stage that you are SO important to me, your kids, and to Jesus. You are invaluable. You are irreplaceable and with your lives, you have been given an amazing opportunity to help connect your kids with God. I'm jealous that I'm not a daddy yet. There's a bug going around and I'm blaming Donnell. Wow. What a cool job it is to be a parent. Crazy, yes, Busy, yes. Scary? Absolutely. But is God bigger than your insecurities about parenting and the mistakes you might make along the way? You bet He is. I'm glad you're here. You're on a good path to share Jesus with your kids.

IMPORTANCE OF THE YOUTH MINISTRY

The Second thing that I want to communicate is this: I am honored to be your youth director. I am blessed every week when I get to play fuseball with your daughter and target a Twix bar at your son's chest. Again, this is where the partial nursing degree comes in handy. But you need to know that as a member of the church staff, we are all here for you. We want to see you encouraged when times are tough. We want to connect you to resources when you're at your wit's end. We want to help you as you raise your kids to be passionate disciples of Jesus. And this morning we've shared a little bit about how we do that through events like Cloud 9. Our goal is have youth ministry events and schedules not just to answer the question "What do we pay this person for?" but because we're trying to foster environments that build on the things you are already doing.

CONCLUSION

I want to conclude that I've come to realize that youth ministry is not about kids. Youth ministry is not about parents. Youth ministry is not about Nigel Berry's passions, ego, or financial stability. Youth ministry is different from other ministries, yes. We're often weirder. We're often louder. We are often responsible for the existence of a 'carpet cleaning budget' in 98% of America's churches. But we're seriously in the business of getting people connected with a God who is wrecklessly in love with us. Thank you for the privilege it is to serve you and your kids.

Sad Day For Youth Pastors

Goodbye Marko. I'm really sad.

Passion Theology & John Deere

This is an excerpt from Kendra Dean's book, Practicing Passion:

"... Nowhere did we suggest that theology may be partly responsible for the church's diminishing influence on young people.  while youth ministry has routinely capitalized on the passions of adolescents, little (if any) attention has been given to connecting them to the Passion of the Christ.  Most congregations confine divine passion to Holy Week, and view adolescent passion as a hormonal rite of passage, not as the fingerprint of God.   Prevailing wisdom suggests that passion, like algebra and acne, should be endured, not exegeted.  Churches routinely praise youth ministry while exiling it to a fellowship group in the church basement.  Outreach to young people beyond the congregation normally threatens established ways of "doing church," and consequently seldom occurs beyond carefully circumscribed weeks during the summer.    The sign potential of adolescence - the possibility that young people might point to something fundamental about who God is, and about who God created us to become - has often been completely overlooked."

I strongly believe that the Church is meant to be intergenerational and that, because of it's design, would have some sort of inclusive purpose for all stages of member development.  So what is it about adolescence that sets it apart?  Is it the passion?  The driving, raging emotions and what else?  I wonder if passion wasn't on sale during the tween's season and was bought out by the early bird customer who beat the Church that first noticed the Final Days ad in last week's paper?  I mean, is there any room left for divine passion in our students?  What about us?  Do we have room for passion?  

I ask because I'm at a crossroads as to whether I want the passion that may have existed in my youth back or not.  I only question because I've seen enough already to know that passion moves.  It does not settle.  Passion is driving, not passive.  I fight the urge to live passionately for fear that it may sweep me to places I fear.  I wonder if other people (including youth) are reluctant to embrace dangerous passion.  

The closest I can picture are the guys that I went to high school with who would race their trucks across the parking lot in the evenings.  They were your stereotypical farmer kids with chew in the glovebox and at least one item of John Deere paraphernalia.  But man, were they passionate about racing those trucks!  I can't help but admire them now.  I think they took greater risk (socially and physically!) than I am still reluctant to take.  Maybe I should buy a John Deere cap...

Take Time To Be Holy

Nothing too original here today and I apologize. It is just amazing what you can find in a Nursing Home storage room at 2:00 in the morning and how God can use it. I found an old, OLD Nazarene hymnal on a storage shelf and flipping through it I found a hymn titled "Take Time To Be Holy".

I'll throw the words down for you here but I must share that God is teaching me through the simplicity of this song. I feel dry right now. Despite having found a new church community to participate with (thanks so much Lord!) and slowly getting back into the swing of being a youthworker, I feel like my guts are made of sawdust. I'm missing substance. As most anyone reading this could predict- my prayer life has gone down the drain. It's hanging by a thread at best. I often ask God to remind me to pray. Is that weird?

So as I play with this blog on and off and the concept of having (and still defining) an Experiential youth ministry, I'm realizing at my age of 24 that if this concept or dream or idea (whatever it is) will ever leap off of the internet and out of my head it will require far more discipline from me. I'm pretty terrible at disciplining myself. I think that was God's bright idea behind the Church and community. Maybe marriage too but I'll steer clear of any treacherous waters with that thought. . . Ha Ha.

Take Time to Be Holy

Take time to be holy. Speak oft with thy Lord;

Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.

Make friends of God's children; help those who are weak,

Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy. The world rushes on;

Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone.

By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be,

Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy. Let Him be thy guide;

And run not before Him, whatever betide.

In joy or in sorrow, still follow thy Lord,

And looking to Jesus, till trust in His word.

-W.D. Longstaff & Geo C. Stebbins-

Experiential ministry isn't much without the experience. Take time to experience God.

Experiential Project - Home Share

Recently my wife and I have left the booming metropolis of South Lyon for the liberal hippie-laden culture of Ann Arbor. And I love it here.

We're participating in a Home Share program that we recently discovered. The home share program put's willing renters (us!) into the home of an elderly person in the area who may be in need of mild physical assistance (ex. grocery shopping, shoveling snow, moving furniture, etc. . . ) and/or social stimulation in exchange for cheaper rent. So we have found ourselves living in the basement of a 77 yr. old lady. I feel like a cave troll. After a week I'm finding that this is already going to be a challenge. This process has helped me to realize not only how many material items we own, but perhaps more imporantly how strongly I cling to them. I can tell that this will be a very sacrificial season in my life. I'm finding that it half excites me and half angers me. The anger is a result of my comfort being challenged. I'm confident that this is an experience at the heart of experiential ministry because I'm finding myself on edge after only a week.

I was talking to a former student of my this week who deemed the idea of a Home Share as being absolutely crazy on account of his "trust issues" as he dubbed them. I think that is one of the issues that gets pressed in this experience. This has caused me to reflect on my belief that trust is a gift. A great gift! And as the 8th grader had observed- it could backfire on you at anytime. Love works the same way. Forgiveness works the same way. Greasy pizza at midnight can work the same way. What is good and beautiful can always be abused, perverted, misplaced, and can shake your bowels to tears. It's a risk we take because God took the same risk on us.

Keep being uncomfortable and be open about it with your students. Victory without struggle is an illusion that too many people fall for.

The Donkey Kong of Church Ministry

I know it has been some time since I've tossed up some thoughts but I had a long drive home from Indiana the other night and decided that I might share a bit of what has been on my mind.

I had a strage recollection of a childhood memory driving through Coldwater, MI. I was playing the classic donkey kong game on a system that I can't identify. (no, it wasn't a Nintendo) My father's friend was playing and I observed that there was a mallet on the screen that could probably aid his endevors to beat the level. When I inquired why he did not use the mallet he replied that he did not know how to pick it up. Now, this is the part that I remember most vividly- it was my father's giant hand of correction that smacked the back of hand when I retorted, "Well have you ever tried the red button?" Upon recieving a turn, I picked up the mallet with the red button and smashed my way to video game glory.

Here's where I think we need to go with this: We need to ultimately understand that we may not experience real success in our ministries until we are willing to try the things that haven't been tried. I want to live in a world of risk-takers. I want to bring that feeling of "I'm playing with live wires" into youth ministry. I want to see an experiential youth ministry that frees men and women in the church to attempt their dreams. Here's an example I came up with and I'd love to hear any thoughts on this one- destroy the office.
No, really- hear me out on this one. One of the strangest things I've observed about pastoral ministry in our communities is that the full-time paid minister spends most of his/her time not with people. Perhaps this is an inherrent weakness of making a church building the center of a community. . . But I found myself asking on so many occasions, "Wow, what am I supposed to do? My kids are in school and I work from 9-5 and then have to protect some of my evenings to be around for my family." What we spent our time outside of the office, in the community?

I may be opening a can of worms here which may ultimately lead to the question- what do we (or should we) get paid for? I've been working part-time at the local mall and a part of me loves it. I love how it gets me out of a Christian bubble. I love how it gives me opportunities to have relationships with not-yet believers. I love how it shows me the realities of people more than any book can. I feel that pastoral ministry as it is currently structured establishes a lot of obstacles that gets in the way of these important things. What could it look like if our churches were structured in a way that required pastor's to be in their world? I truly believe that we would be much more effective in impacting our cities and communities if we could bring that forth. I'm questioning if part-time youth ministry is the only way to achieve this. I hope not- many of us have learned that there really isn't such a thing as part-time ministry.

So there's where I conclude today. Find a way to grab that mallet and go further than you've gone before.

Update

I realize it has been several months since I've updated any posts on this website and to all two of my potential readers- I apologize.

Since November I am no longer working at the church community that launched my career. While we certainly has some rough spots in the relationship, I'm looking forward to this period of time I'll have away from church work. Though I miss it incredibly, I think the next few years will be an important time in my life for me to build and revise my youth ministry philosophy as I wrestle with all the things that an Experiential Youth Ministry could entail.

I will continue writing my thoughts and musings regarding youth ministry on this blog site but it may not be for some time. I need a season to detach from my former community and focus on more immediate interests such as 'providing for my wife' and 'moving out of town' and 'healing from a less than favorable church experience'. So please be patient and check back in periodically. I should be back in the youth philosophy grind sometime this summer.

Blessings and good things.