Experiential Youth Ministry

The Parable of the Good Muslim

2010-09-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

The Parable of the Good Muslim

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from a Tigers game to his car, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a social worker, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Muslim, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on Neosporin. Then he put the bloodied man in his own car, took him to a hotel and took care of him. The next day he took $300 and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

If the Parable of the Good Samaritan were re-written for us today - could it look like this? If so, how might this challenge the way we interact with those who have a different faith or culture? Do you suppose this parable really bothered Jesus' audience? What could we substitute the Samaritan with today?

Postmodern Sin

2010-05-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm supposed to be prepping for my Evangelism final which must be taken tonight because of time restraints. Clearly, I'm not studying because I'm blogging. Don't judge me. Anyways, there is this ABCD Evangelism process that is discussed in my class that I'm struggling with.

Essentially, the start of the ABCD conversion process is that, as Christians and evangelists, we must help people to understand sin. If sin cannot be understood, there is no problem, and then no need for God. My problem is that A) I'm not convinced personal sin is the first step to connect post-moderns with a need for Jesus and B) I fear that limiting our understanding of atonement to penal substitution does not portray a holistic picture of the work God is doing in and through Christ.

Why must we start with sin? Why don't we talk about God's love for creation, His desire to welcome us into His family, the role we get to play in restoring Eden, God's concern for the problems of modern-day, etc.... I wonder if our efforts at evangelism would be more successful if we changed tactics. You know, talk about the things of God that really get us excited! Or else I have to conclude there is no excitement found in Christ except being spared from a Hell that isn't known or understood by many. If that's the case, I'm clearly on a different boat!

So that's where I finish this thought today - how do we approach sin in a post-modern context where judgement (declaring right & wrong) is a terrible faux pas?

Creation's Groan

2010-04-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

"I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world"

Just a quick thought - so we talk a lot about how 'creation groans' and it is usually in the context of discussing our responsibilities to care for creation. It has always made me think of the kind of groaning I do when I get out of bed after a good workout. Every muscle is tight, every joint is stiff, and every step for the first 60 seconds of my day feels like I am about to break. I groan to feel better.

But there is another groan that I frequently use - a groan of anticipation. For example, I play on an outdoor soccer league in Ann Arbor. Whenever I get a chance to enjoy the game from the sidelines, inevitably, someone on my team will get a good break on the goal and make an attempt to score. The anticipation of that moment is incredible. I love the way everyone of us leans forward, yells, shortens our breath, and watches. Now, regardless of the outcome, there is a groaning that leads up to the shot. Its that moment where your last breath leaves your lungs and the whole world seems to stop around you to experience fully what is about to go down.

"I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world." Just wondering- could creation have been groaning in anticipation of God's work? Could you imagine the stress of knowing so much good and then having an extended period of time where it has been absent? To compare again with soccer, it is like having a winning season the year prior and the whole team is groaning with the anticipation of another win in the new year. I'm not suggesting that creation has stopped its groaning. Just saying, I like the thought of creation longing for something better. I like the idea that Jesus brought us some good that was lost for a long long time.

Marilyn Who?

2010-04-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

To begin, my apologies for being so absent with this blog. My wife and I recently purchased a home and I have decided to participate in the Vineyard Leadership Institute. The combination of both in the same quarter have been demanding of my time to say the least. However, I am pleased to be at the computer again and will attempt to be more faithful in the sharing of my thoughts.

So I borrowed my brother-in-law's car last night to get to my small group meeting on time. One thing that I love about driving my brother's car is that he has installed a delightful satellite radio unit which provided boundless joy and information from music land! I decided to leave the channel on his preferred hard-rock station - just for kicks. On my way home from our group meeting, the DJ played the song 'Beautiful People' by Marilyn Manson. Now this may or may not connect with you depending on your age and/or background, but I've got a history with Marilyn and I wouldn't say it is a good one. Let me explain:

Marilyn Manson became huge on the music scene in the 1990's - my middle and high school years. At the time I was listening to harder rock music and so the exposure was inevitable. Looking back, it is interesting to me how scared we were ("we" being the Church) of Marilyn Manson. If you google a photo, you'll certainly understand. The dark feel to his music, the frightful rock&roll image, the morbid fascinations - all these things were rolled into one giant ball of "bad" and suddenly, taking the place of Nazi Germany, Manson became the new poster-boy for evil. (Apparently only the devil would cover a song by the Eurythmics...)

What bothers me now is that there was no exploration following the reasons 'why' we were scared & intimidated by Manson. And my question is asked in the light of this: Did we really believe that the kingdom of God could have been toppled by a rock band? That, if we did not speak out strongly against his image and associate it with negative health practices (ex. Cutting) and school shootings (Columbine), that evil would win the day? Again - and those of you who know me won't find these questions to be anything new but- why did the Church choose to make an enemy of Manson? What youth ministries studied the demographic that he attracted and made them a priority? Who was thankful for what Manson revealed about our culture? The perceived needs of our teenagers? Or, did we avoid it because we were scared of those kids?

God, give a courage to minister to those you love. Help our love for those who seem alien to overgrow our timidity that we might be effective servants of You.

JBS - Chapters 5 & 6; Adventures in the Contemplative

2010-02-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

Among my list of top reads for any youth worker are Mark Yaconelli's books on contemplative youth ministry. They've been some of my favorites now for several years and I believe the reason that they remain at the top of my list is because I believe I find most of my hope for youth ministry being expressed in a contemplative dimension.

Contemplation breeds intimacy. I want to have an intimate relationship with Jesus and I certainly wish the same for my students. I think that all the mission trips, and service projects, and video game battles, and story telling, and Bible study won't amount to much if neglect this crucial piece of the spiritual puzzle. I understand the reasons for shying away from contemplative practice in youth group. "Prayer is boring, my students would never get on board!" "I don't think my kids want to learn how to pray. They'd rather just learn more about Jesus." "I feel so inadequate that there's no way I'm fit to teach this part of the Jesus path to the youth group."

As good as these reasons and others may be - they're not good enough.

Perhaps I was an anomaly in high school but I'm pretty confident that if we had had a youth pastor who wanted to get into prayer and meditation he or she would have had no trouble rounding up at least five of us to get going. If I did not believe that kids are interested in spiritual things then I would probably pursue work in a field that is more solid and less swampy. But I wonder. . .

Do we do prayer an injustice if we only teach that prayer is communication?

How else might we describe prayer to youth?

How about Phyllis Tickle's description that "prayer means going somewhere"?

Do we shortchange our students by having them practice saying prayers but never have them practice listening?

Why are most of us so discontent with our own prayer lives? Who set those standards for us? Are we imparting those on our students?

This morning I read through the Divine Hours while I sipped my orange juice. I was encouraged because it was the first time that doing the Divine Hours felt comfortable and safe and familiar despite having any history associated with it. I believe I will try again tomorrow morning. : D

Is God "Cool"?

2010-02-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

I was reading around some other posts this morning and observed some reoccuring conversations about how youth ministries, for right or wrong, tend to imitate world culture in an attempt to attract teenagers. I haven't officially landed a position for this argument but it makes me wonder why we try to portray God as being cool.

Do teenagers only respond to 'Cool'?

What makes something cool?

Is God cool?

Perhaps the fine point on this question is should we base a ministry's philosophy and objectives around a relative concept? One person's 'cool' is another person's 'not cool'. Do we exclude and/or limit people from finding meaningful relationships with each other and with God when we cater to a cultural concept of attractive design? Should I say anything critical in the next few sentences, I should first admit that I use 'cool' elements in my youth ministry as well. Having a surround sound lounge with an xBox 360 & Rock Band kit plus BluRay is a far cry from monastic simplicity. However I've been able to build relationships with kids and adults with the aforementioned toy room.

I think our challenge is to assess the difference our attempts at being cool really make. Do your games make kids who would never interact with each other do otherwise? Does your video game system just keep kids entertained or do you (or other mentors) actually get to connect with kids while playing? Does your worship band lead kids into worship or does it just rock without purpose?

I want to say God is cool because I like Him and the things that I like are cool. I also realize that 'coolness' is flippant and finicky and in 24 hours, many things tend to be less cool. Do we need to use new language in the way we describe God? Perhaps I need more creativity to move in this direction. But then again, isn't it kind of lame to summarize the God of the universe with just one word from the English dictionary?

JBS - Chapter 4, Three B's

2010-02-01T07:01:00.000-08:00

I've never understood why we expect people to arrive into our communities with experience, wisdom, and an angelic perfection that could only serve to make our churches as cool and popular as the megachurch down the street. My experience has taught me otherwise. People arrive into our communities as broken people. I enter a community as a broken person.

Ken was describing the other day that Jesus had more of a ready, fire, aim! approach to ministry. A similar philosophy I adopted is referred to as the 3 B's. Many church communities expect you to enter their community in a particular order. First you Behave the way they behave. Secondly you must Believe what they believe. Only after having assimilated in the most shallow of ways can you finally Belong to the group. Jesus did very poorly with this lesson. I might diagnose Jesus with a case of spiritual dyslexia because he reversed the order! In Jesus' kingdom, we Belong, Believe, and then Behave. It's a Come-As-You-Are spirituality. Jesus can take care of the rest.

When you have a kid in the midst of your youth space, please youth workers, remember that teenager is on an active spiritual journey. They may be on a reluctantly journeying, but they are moving with you nonetheless! Thank God when you have kids who feel safe enough to come as they are. Thank God when your drug users make the room smell funky. Thank God when you nudge the girl in the back of the room to wake up! Thank God when your kids use your program for their own attention. Not only will you be more attentive to the areas that God is working, it will also help to develop the patience that is needed to permit kids to Belong in your group first. Remember, nobody wants to be where they don't belong. Let people belong in your ministry.

JBS - Chapter 3

2010-01-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

I must confess that I'm slightly jealous of students today who get to mature on the front lines of a shift in the Church's understanding of its relationships within itself and the in world it exists for. I think that purpose has been better clarified by theologically grasping what it means to participate in God's nature of redemption, repair, and restitution.

I can only now begin to realize my disappointment as a teenager when I believed that the purpose of my life was to die. I reached this conclusion because the emphasis of Christian life was always heaven. Everything that seemed to matter only mattered after this life. I think the general rule was to "do your best while here" and "get to know God a little bit because you're going to spend an eternity with Him." Made sense to me at the time. . .

However I'm glad I moved to another street. I've come to a place where I believe God is inviting us to actively partner with Him and his works in this world. I'm more thankful now for the diversity of gifts, talents, and passions in other people. I realized that something had to change when my life's conclusion that only souls mattered logically led me to be disappointed that every Jesus freak out there wasn't a pastor, missionary, or traveling evangelist. You get what I'm saying right? I believed that if only the afterlife mattered, then everything else was a waste of time. I think that dispensationalism had penetrated my brain to a degree that my heart had become polluted.

I am now thankful for lawyers, and civil engineers, and biologists, and computer programmers, and people who repair bicycles. I'm thankful for teachers, and authors, and coffee shop employees, and social workers. I love children's basketball coaches, fruit harvesters, auto mechanics, and gas station attendants with thick accents. Ultimately, I'm thankful that God can use our diversity to make things better. I'm thankful that God has chosen the ordinary for the extraordinary. I'm thankful that no one has to be a benchwarmer.

JBS - Chapter 2

2010-01-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

I'm already bothered. Not with anything that the author has said or that I'm finding myself disagreeing. But in terms of Youth Ministry, I do not know where we are or where we have collectively come from. Here's what's up -

So this chapter begins by introducing us to the landscape of American Christianity which has been divided into 4 Quadrants: Evangelical, Liturgical, Social Justice, and Renewalist. The purpose, I think, is to encourage the reader to assess where their experience(s) may fall on the plain, if it falls onto this plain at all. It's described as being similar to the place where we find ourselves in our family- possessing a unique role, histories, culture, and future ambitions. My lack of historical knowledge of youth ministry makes me feel a little bit like a bastard son. I don't understand the past. I don't know where we've come from which, in my opinion, can make knowing where we're going all the more challenging.

I've seen good historical narratives concerning the rise and development of some excellent youth ministry organizations such as Youth for Christ and Campus Crusade and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. However I feel like this only appeals to the Evangelical Quadrant of Ministry. It leaves me asking questions like, "Does youth ministry 'belong' to the Evangelicals?", "How have the Pentecostals, Quakers, and Orthodox communities responded to youth culture?", and "What is the Church (by way of YM) to do in response to an emerging post-modern culture?"

My concern in learning about such things stems in part from my own personality. I've learned that I am wired to work on a team. When facing a particular task I am dependent on the experiences and perspectives of those who partner with me. What bothers me is that as the Church desires to reach out and minister to young people, I only have perspectives in the Evangelical Quadrant. It's enough to get me started but I want to know more, mostly out of fear that something crucial to the equation might be missed. What's more is that Youth Ministry as a profession is very young. 40-50 years old. That is because youth culture is young and is primarily found in 1st world nations. Youth Ministry as I understand it evolved as a response to an emerging youth culture in the middle of the 20th century. Now we not only have a young Church response to a historically new culture to understand, but we are also doing it while we are in a Post-Modern swing. This would seem less complicated to me if youth ministry was 150 years older or if it wouldn't mind coming 60 or so years from now instead.

I'm going to conclude with this thought/question: Should border blending be a responsibility of youth ministry? Border blending describes connections to multiple quadrants. (Ex. One might attend an Episcopal church community [Liturgical] yet practice the spiritual gift of tongues [Renewalist]) Here's why I might ask if we should understand this as a responsibility- People are all wired different. For better or worse I believe that to be the very reason we have quadrants. Do we assume that all the young people in our quadrant are wired to be in our quadrant? Can we know for certain that Jack and Jill are Evangelically wired instead of Liturgically wired? Since YM is the typical Church experience before adulthood, should we be finding or creating methods to expose our students to a variety of quadrants? It would take humility on our part to admit we cannot offer everything to everyone. I would take partnership and courage to say, "Jack, I think you should try the Free Methodist's Fall Retreat this year instead of ours. I know the youth pastor there and she is terrific! I'd love to introduce you."

JBS - Chapter 1

2010-01-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

Ken's book, Jesus Brand Spirituality, features 11 chapters. My goal is to put this blog back into swing by writing thoughts and reflections on them as they may pertain to youth ministry. I won't disclose or summarize the chapters as I would encourage you to pick up a copy for yourselves. I could probably get you a deal if you treat me nice!

The first chapter raised two questions for me - Is youth ministry 'branded'? and "If the Church might benefit by being 4-Dimensional (Biblical, Active, Contemplative, and Communal), how do youth ministries stack up?".

Is Youth Ministry 'Branded'?

My initial thought is "Absolutely". What was especially interesting to reflect on is that the word brand has both a negative and a potential definition. To brand something can mean to label or to stain (taint). YM seems to accomplish both depending on a person's experience. For many, YM represents a lot of great memories of the Church. Lock-ins, concerts, funny games, Christian learning, meaningful relationships, etc... For others it may also represent something less than favorable such as embarrassment, exclusion, and irrelevancy.

I think that as we navigate our ministry with kids, we need to be reminded that the things we set ourselves up to do has serious and lasting implications on a student's experience of Christian faith and community. Even the most checked-out, insufferable, would-sever-a-leg-to-be-anywhere-else teenager builds their understanding of the Church with every encounter. I'm asking myself now, "What associations are we creating for our youth? Which ones are good? Which ones must be avoided?"

I hope LOVE would be the greatest association to give a teenager. Love can communicate value, belonging, acceptance, welcome, and grace. I think I would rather have kids feel loved and maybe a little bit bored than to feel entertained and alone. (Now obviously I would address a 'boring' atmosphere rather than strive for one, but for sake of conversation....)

I don't think we can escape being branded. However I believe that if we're willing to look into all the corners of Youth Ministry, we might get a good idea of how we're branding our youth. Are they leaving with a Jesus brand or with a brand that burns, scars, and damages? Left unexplored, unquestioned, unanswered - even the most well-intentioned ministries can wreak havoc when they become Youth Pastor Brand, Church Culture Brand, World Culture Brand.

How do youth ministries (across the board) stack up as being 4-Dimensional?

Perhaps this is a question best left open so I would love to hear from others what their experience in youth ministry has been concerning this question. What was your YM experience in the areas of being Active, Biblical, Communal, and Contemplative? If your church did not have a youth ministry, what was your communal experience as a teenager?

Growing up, I think our only active component was an annual mission's trip. Biblical and Communal were pretty solid. Contemplative was probably the weakest element as few adults in their "right minds" would get excited about leading teenagers though meditative practices. Perhaps that is the reason I suspect Contemplative experiences in the Evangelical corner may be the weakest of the four. Even the word 'meditation' had a stigma in my community as it was often linked to other religions and was therefore feared and/or ignored. I've personally enjoyed my practice and experience of contemplative faith and wish I had an earlier introduction to it. Lectio Divina and forms of Centering Prayer are personal favorites. Again, I'd be curious to hear thoughts from others on this topic.

Responses to Student Questions

2010-01-04T06:17:00.000-08:00

Below I have listed questions and responses that we were unable to get to during the rest of our time on Sunday morning. Great job kids! Wonderful questions!!!!

Did it feel awkward worshiping in church when you were a teen? If so, when did you feel more comfortable?

My church as a teenager had a very different culture than our Vineyard community. That particular church had a lot of classroom space which was used fully. Most of the community would attend a class in the morning and then attend the equivalent of our 11:00 service afterwards. As a result, worship was a very common element for our student community. I would imagine that had it been structured differently, it would be a challenge to feel instantly comfortable with a different tradition. "Familiarity creates comfort" The more we engage in worship, the more natural it begins to feel. Many things work the same way, Prayer, for example!

What do you think about other religions?

Picture in your mind a mirror. Good! Now, picture another mirror that has been dropped from a 10-story building. Even though the second mirror has been dropped and shattered, you could still recognize that it was a mirror (or is now 1,000 tiny mirrors!). You know that it was a mirror because it still has reflective pieces that we could equate with truth. It's my belief that faiths outside of Christianity offer broken reflections of God's truth. Some elements are very similar. Islam for example teaches non-violence. Buddhism teaches creation care. Mormons have lower divorce rates than Christians! I see these as attractive elements of those faith systems but feel that the big picture is missed. Jesus, being the big picture.

Is dating "bad" according to Christianity?

Nope. Remember Paul's quote, "Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial"? Dating is the intentional building of a relationship and that is always good! However, it takes wisdom and discernment while dating to avoid potential pitfalls such as the loss of self-identity (the Twilight books/movies are good examples of this) and imbalanced intimacy.

What will happen when you die?

I'll tell you when it happens. lol

The specifics can hardly be known but there exists a variety of understanding within the Christian faith- much more than I could cover in a blog post! I believe in a resurrection and that resurrection will bring us into participation in or on God's renewed heaven and earth.

How do we know whether we should hang out with people who do drugs & have sex? How much w/out compromising our faith?

I don't believe people's lifestyles are reason for avoidance and judgement. Reading in the Gospels (the stories of Jesus), we see that Jesus regularly hung out with some unsavory characters. He broke nearly every social rule he could have. So as your youth pastor I will first say: Obey your mother and father. If they do not want you to be around a particular person or group, trust that they can see something you cannot. They'll always be the first one's to notice if you are changing for the better or for the worst. Trust them. If your parents have not entered into the complexity than examine motivations. Are you putting yourself in these circles for a reason? What is that reason?

I'll also add that relationships don't compromise faith. Neglecting relationships, however, will expose your faith to danger. Keep yourself grounded in Christian community and your relationship with Jesus. God will give you wisdom and discernment for these relationships if you ask for it. Your community (similar to my note about parents) will be able to watch you and note any changes. Be humble enough to listen to their concerns should they be voiced.

Where do dinosaurs come into the Bible?

I wish I knew... I really hope Jesus brings them back on the new heaven and earth. I want to ride one!

What is God's true form?

Spirit.

That may not be the answer you were looking for but the question is a lot like asking what is the true color of red. : )

New Blogging Series to Begin in January

2009-12-11T08:24:00.001-08:00

I've been giving some thought to how I might get back into the swing of things with this blog and I decided that, beginning in January, I'm going to read through Ken Wilson's book, Jesus Brand Spirituality with a specific lean towards youth ministries. I invite everyone to follow along and add comments and questions as I journey. Thanks! I'm excited!!!

Sermon 11.8.09

2009-11-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

INTRODUCTION/SETUP

I LOVE your kids! I don't know why. For some reason God wired me so that I can play X-Box for five straight hours without getting up to pee. I've been given the uncanny ability to listen intently to hour-long stories about pets. I'm comfortable by the fact that every 17 year old that meets me has to size me up first- and they may easily conclude that I am not cool enough to compete for their time. I still giggle when someone farts in the dark. Don't tell me its not funny. I won't believe you.
I also love Jesus. And that's what has landed me here today. Youth ministry makes sense to me and I'm going talk a little bit about that this morning and the way I want to launch this thing is by sharing a little bit about our Cloud 9 retreat that we had two weeks ago. Now some of you are very familiar with this retreat and what it is and what goes on because we've been participating in it for many years now. Some of you are absolutely clueless and that is ok. I am too. Just regarding other things that you are probably very knowledgeable about.

CLOUD 9

So what essentially happens is that we transport over 500 kids by van, bus, or UPS from Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Canada, and other lands to a tiny camp in Hillsdale, MI called 'Michindoh'. We pack this place out. I think someone told me a story about waking up to find a kid sleeping in a shower one year. I don't know if he was the last one to camp or not but apparently he didn't want to sleep dirty. And this weekend is just packed with wholesome peanut butter chocolaty goodness. There is all the pingpong you can stomach. There is a climbing wall, paintball field, beautiful scenery, warm cabins, hot chocolate, and there is always a worship band almost as cool as Shaun Garth Walker!

WHY DO WE DO CLOUD 9?

I'll remind you- Cloud 9 is youth ministry to the max. It is hanging out with hundreds of people who are generations removed from you for an entire weekend. The music is loud. You typically do not get even close to eight hours of sleep and once you get home, you go to bed because you have to get up for work in the morning! We do events like Cloud 9 because we believe the opportunities matter. I believe kids matter. You see, something dangerous happens when young people seek out God. Something wild and crazy and just MIND-BENDING occurs when we spend hours of a weekend worshiping our God and asking him to be present. You know what happens? God shows up! He reveals himself to students and to parents and to leaders and to the worship team and to the squirrels chattering away outside! And when you encounter God, guess what? YOU DON'T GET TO BE THE SAME ANYMORE. For most of us, that's a good thing. We go to Cloud 9 because we want connect kids with God.

PERSONAL YOUTH MINISTRY EVOLUTION

You see, I decided I wanted to go into professional youth ministry when I was in high school because even as a 17 year old, God was shaping a part of my heart for middle school and high school students. And at the time, my understanding of youth ministry was simply that my job would be to tell kids about Jesus. So I said to myself, "Self, I need training." So I went to college and began my four-year degree in Youth Ministry. It was a six-week program but I graduated! And I remember learning in school that youth ministry was going to be a little more complicated. I learned that youth ministry rolls every potential college degree into one. So I have a partial degree in Accounting, Biology, Theology, Business, Sports Therapy, and Nursing because I have to keep a budget, understand adolescent transformations, teach about God and His kingdom, work with a church board and staff, play football in the church hallways, and fix broken bodies as a result of playing football in the church hallways. Dude! This is a lot more than just telling students about Jesus!
So I graduate and moved to Michigan and started my first youth ministry job. It was great. I was at a church of 200 members and had about 17 middle and high school kids to disciple. And this is where a new element entered the picture. You see I was doing good with the budget. They told me to spend more! I was doing good with the lessons. I was told that they were relevant and meaningful! I was doing great at the relationships because I can confidently tell you that Haley's favorite place to eat in town is Taco Bell and if I texted her right now she would meet me there as soon as I walk off this stage. The element I didn't know how to handle were parents. And this isn't because I forgot kids had parents. If you plan a couple youth group events for 10:00 on a school night and not even your volunteers show up, you know you're missing something. Now I had the basics down. I knew that parents needed to know details. They like the who/what/when/where/why/and how much is this one going to cost me? I knew that parents liked to hear good things about their children. "Mr. Smith, I just wanted to tell you that little Smith has been much less disruptive in Sunday school since we had our conversation a few weeks ago. I think he's really taken it to heart!" (He's actually sleeping in the corner of the Sunday school class and tuning everyone out but I don't add that part into the story)
One of my biggest mistakes was that I didn't make enough of a place for the parents in the youth ministry. I think I undervalued some of them and that stirred up heaps of trouble. I was a typical college kid whose sustenance was based primarily around Ramen noodles. It took me years to learn this but when you make pasta dishes, the water has a tendency to boil over. I still don't know why, when your pot is only half full of water and noodley components, that water still foams out the top and makes a terrible hissing noise on stove. If someone explains that to me after the celebration I will give you a candy bar. Because that's how I roll. But anyways I never remembered to lower the heat and it would boil over every time. Seriously. I nearly was banned from using the stove. Similarly I wasn't paying attention to the boiling noodles at the church and the boil over wasn't pretty. So what resulted was yet another revision of how I understood youth ministry. At first I thought, gee this is all wrong! Youth ministry is about the parents! Not the kids! If I can work with the parents and pour my heart and resources and giftings into them, then we're going to get much better results in the student ministries. Right? Because parents, you are SO IMPORTANT! So important!

IMPORTANCE OF PARENTS

See: Christian Smith (sociologist, University of N. Carolina), Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers. In this book, Smith walks us through an in-depth study of teenagers and religion and if you are a parent and you have not read this book I will recommend that you add it to your list of New Year's resolutions for 2010 because one of the things that they uncovered in their research, which may be surprising to some, is that PARENTS, present or absent, are the #1 influence in a teenagers' life. You have more influence that your children's friends. You have more influence that your youth pastor. And, believe it or not, you have more influence than the media! You may feel like #503 but you're really on top! You're #1! Especially when it comes to spirituality. Now, as a youth worker, I don't take this information lightly because I've started to see the interconnectivity associated with student ministries and its a complicated, messy web of Churchy awesomeness. You see there's this thing that happens in the church called community and its something we value very much at the Vineyard. In fact, you'll notice that it makes up one of the four church quadrants in the internationally best-selling book, Jesus Brand Spirituality, authored by Senior Pastor Ken Wilson and available for sale in the building's lobby! So parents, I want to make sure I do two things for you this morning. First, I want to make sure I communicate to you from this stage that you are SO important to me, your kids, and to Jesus. You are invaluable. You are irreplaceable and with your lives, you have been given an amazing opportunity to help connect your kids with God. I'm jealous that I'm not a daddy yet. There's a bug going around and I'm blaming Donnell. Wow. What a cool job it is to be a parent. Crazy, yes, Busy, yes. Scary? Absolutely. But is God bigger than your insecurities about parenting and the mistakes you might make along the way? You bet He is. I'm glad you're here. You're on a good path to share Jesus with your kids.

IMPORTANCE OF THE YOUTH MINISTRY

The Second thing that I want to communicate is this: I am honored to be your youth director. I am blessed every week when I get to play fuseball with your daughter and target a Twix bar at your son's chest. Again, this is where the partial nursing degree comes in handy. But you need to know that as a member of the church staff, we are all here for you. We want to see you encouraged when times are tough. We want to connect you to resources when you're at your wit's end. We want to help you as you raise your kids to be passionate disciples of Jesus. And this morning we've shared a little bit about how we do that through events like Cloud 9. Our goal is have youth ministry events and schedules not just to answer the question "What do we pay this person for?" but because we're trying to foster environments that build on the things you are already doing.

CONCLUSION

I want to conclude that I've come to realize that youth ministry is not about kids. Youth ministry is not about parents. Youth ministry is not about Nigel Berry's passions, ego, or financial stability. Youth ministry is different from other ministries, yes. We're often weirder. We're often louder. We are often responsible for the existence of a 'carpet cleaning budget' in 98% of America's churches. But we're seriously in the business of getting people connected with a God who is wrecklessly in love with us. Thank you for the privilege it is to serve you and your kids.

Sad Day For Youth Pastors

2009-10-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Marko. I'm really sad.

Passion Theology & John Deere

2009-03-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from Kendra Dean's book, Practicing Passion:

"... Nowhere did we suggest that theology may be partly responsible for the church's diminishing influence on young people. while youth ministry has routinely capitalized on the passions of adolescents, little (if any) attention has been given to connecting them to the Passion of the Christ. Most congregations confine divine passion to Holy Week, and view adolescent passion as a hormonal rite of passage, not as the fingerprint of God. Prevailing wisdom suggests that passion, like algebra and acne, should be endured, not exegeted. Churches routinely praise youth ministry while exiling it to a fellowship group in the church basement. Outreach to young people beyond the congregation normally threatens established ways of "doing church," and consequently seldom occurs beyond carefully circumscribed weeks during the summer. The sign potential of adolescence - the possibility that young people might point to something fundamental about who God is, and about who God created us to become - has often been completely overlooked."

I strongly believe that the Church is meant to be intergenerational and that, because of it's design, would have some sort of inclusive purpose for all stages of member development. So what is it about adolescence that sets it apart? Is it the passion? The driving, raging emotions and what else? I wonder if passion wasn't on sale during the tween's season and was bought out by the early bird customer who beat the Church that first noticed the Final Days ad in last week's paper? I mean, is there any room left for divine passion in our students? What about us? Do we have room for passion?

I ask because I'm at a crossroads as to whether I want the passion that may have existed in my youth back or not. I only question because I've seen enough already to know that passion moves. It does not settle. Passion is driving, not passive. I fight the urge to live passionately for fear that it may sweep me to places I fear. I wonder if other people (including youth) are reluctant to embrace dangerous passion.

The closest I can picture are the guys that I went to high school with who would race their trucks across the parking lot in the evenings. They were your stereotypical farmer kids with chew in the glovebox and at least one item of John Deere paraphernalia. But man, were they passionate about racing those trucks! I can't help but admire them now. I think they took greater risk (socially and physically!) than I am still reluctant to take. Maybe I should buy a John Deere cap...

Take Time To Be Holy

2008-09-17T10:44:00.001-07:00

Nothing too original here today and I apologize. It is just amazing what you can find in a Nursing Home storage room at 2:00 in the morning and how God can use it. I found an old, OLD Nazarene hymnal on a storage shelf and flipping through it I found a hymn titled "Take Time To Be Holy".

I'll throw the words down for you here but I must share that God is teaching me through the simplicity of this song. I feel dry right now. Despite having found a new church community to participate with (thanks so much Lord!) and slowly getting back into the swing of being a youthworker, I feel like my guts are made of sawdust. I'm missing substance. As most anyone reading this could predict- my prayer life has gone down the drain. It's hanging by a thread at best. I often ask God to remind me to pray. Is that weird?

So as I play with this blog on and off and the concept of having (and still defining) an Experiential youth ministry, I'm realizing at my age of 24 that if this concept or dream or idea (whatever it is) will ever leap off of the internet and out of my head it will require far more discipline from me. I'm pretty terrible at disciplining myself. I think that was God's bright idea behind the Church and community. Maybe marriage too but I'll steer clear of any treacherous waters with that thought. . . Ha Ha.

Take Time to Be Holy

Take time to be holy. Speak oft with thy Lord;

Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.

Make friends of God's children; help those who are weak,

Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy. The world rushes on;

Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone.

By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be,

Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy. Let Him be thy guide;

And run not before Him, whatever betide.

In joy or in sorrow, still follow thy Lord,

And looking to Jesus, till trust in His word.

-W.D. Longstaff & Geo C. Stebbins-

Experiential ministry isn't much without the experience. Take time to experience God.

Experiential Project - Home Share

2008-06-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

Recently my wife and I have left the booming metropolis of South Lyon for the liberal hippie-laden culture of Ann Arbor. And I love it here.

We're participating in a Home Share program that we recently discovered. The home share program put's willing renters (us!) into the home of an elderly person in the area who may be in need of mild physical assistance (ex. grocery shopping, shoveling snow, moving furniture, etc. . . ) and/or social stimulation in exchange for cheaper rent. So we have found ourselves living in the basement of a 77 yr. old lady. I feel like a cave troll. After a week I'm finding that this is already going to be a challenge. This process has helped me to realize not only how many material items we own, but perhaps more imporantly how strongly I cling to them. I can tell that this will be a very sacrificial season in my life. I'm finding that it half excites me and half angers me. The anger is a result of my comfort being challenged. I'm confident that this is an experience at the heart of experiential ministry because I'm finding myself on edge after only a week.

I was talking to a former student of my this week who deemed the idea of a Home Share as being absolutely crazy on account of his "trust issues" as he dubbed them. I think that is one of the issues that gets pressed in this experience. This has caused me to reflect on my belief that trust is a gift. A great gift! And as the 8th grader had observed- it could backfire on you at anytime. Love works the same way. Forgiveness works the same way. Greasy pizza at midnight can work the same way. What is good and beautiful can always be abused, perverted, misplaced, and can shake your bowels to tears. It's a risk we take because God took the same risk on us.

Keep being uncomfortable and be open about it with your students. Victory without struggle is an illusion that too many people fall for.

The Donkey Kong of Church Ministry

2008-04-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

I know it has been some time since I've tossed up some thoughts but I had a long drive home from Indiana the other night and decided that I might share a bit of what has been on my mind.

I had a strage recollection of a childhood memory driving through Coldwater, MI. I was playing the classic donkey kong game on a system that I can't identify. (no, it wasn't a Nintendo) My father's friend was playing and I observed that there was a mallet on the screen that could probably aid his endevors to beat the level. When I inquired why he did not use the mallet he replied that he did not know how to pick it up. Now, this is the part that I remember most vividly- it was my father's giant hand of correction that smacked the back of hand when I retorted, "Well have you ever tried the red button?" Upon recieving a turn, I picked up the mallet with the red button and smashed my way to video game glory.

Here's where I think we need to go with this: We need to ultimately understand that we may not experience real success in our ministries until we are willing to try the things that haven't been tried. I want to live in a world of risk-takers. I want to bring that feeling of "I'm playing with live wires" into youth ministry. I want to see an experiential youth ministry that frees men and women in the church to attempt their dreams. Here's an example I came up with and I'd love to hear any thoughts on this one- destroy the office.
No, really- hear me out on this one. One of the strangest things I've observed about pastoral ministry in our communities is that the full-time paid minister spends most of his/her time not with people. Perhaps this is an inherrent weakness of making a church building the center of a community. . . But I found myself asking on so many occasions, "Wow, what am I supposed to do? My kids are in school and I work from 9-5 and then have to protect some of my evenings to be around for my family." What we spent our time outside of the office, in the community?

I may be opening a can of worms here which may ultimately lead to the question- what do we (or should we) get paid for? I've been working part-time at the local mall and a part of me loves it. I love how it gets me out of a Christian bubble. I love how it gives me opportunities to have relationships with not-yet believers. I love how it shows me the realities of people more than any book can. I feel that pastoral ministry as it is currently structured establishes a lot of obstacles that gets in the way of these important things. What could it look like if our churches were structured in a way that required pastor's to be in their world? I truly believe that we would be much more effective in impacting our cities and communities if we could bring that forth. I'm questioning if part-time youth ministry is the only way to achieve this. I hope not- many of us have learned that there really isn't such a thing as part-time ministry.

So there's where I conclude today. Find a way to grab that mallet and go further than you've gone before.

Update

2008-02-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

I realize it has been several months since I've updated any posts on this website and to all two of my potential readers- I apologize.

Since November I am no longer working at the church community that launched my career. While we certainly has some rough spots in the relationship, I'm looking forward to this period of time I'll have away from church work. Though I miss it incredibly, I think the next few years will be an important time in my life for me to build and revise my youth ministry philosophy as I wrestle with all the things that an Experiential Youth Ministry could entail.

I will continue writing my thoughts and musings regarding youth ministry on this blog site but it may not be for some time. I need a season to detach from my former community and focus on more immediate interests such as 'providing for my wife' and 'moving out of town' and 'healing from a less than favorable church experience'. So please be patient and check back in periodically. I should be back in the youth philosophy grind sometime this summer.

Blessings and good things.

Thoughts on the Golden Compass

2007-11-27T09:46:00.001-08:00

I wonder if perhaps this could be another Nietzsche or Lennon comment taken wrong by the Church. Nietzsche and Lennon are responsible for probably two of the most well-known and offensive comments made toward Christianity. Nietzsche with his famous "God is dead" quote and Lennon's almost-as-famous, "We've become bigger than Jesus Christ" [referencing his career success with the Beatles]quote. Both comments fueled an angry fire under the Christianity pot and the backlash from the Church was vehemently palpable.

While I am not praising their controversial statements, I wish to draw attention to what the Christians missed during these times. Nietzsche looked around his country and saw the poor who were getting poorer, the wealthy getting richer, and the Church doing nothing beyond the "motions of Church" - Nietzsche rightly concluded that God was dead in that the Church was not living in a way to convince the world otherwise. There was no concern for the poor and the helpless. There were no outcries against injustice. The Church had killed God in a figurative sense and ignored His passions in a literal one. Years later, John Lennon compared America's reaction of four Brits playing music to God dying for the sins of man. He concluded that the American audience was more interested in the rise of Rock and Roll than the rising of a crucified Savior. Was he wrong?

Now comes the His Dark Materials series written by an outspoken atheist who intends to, from what I understand, kill a senile God and his oppressive forces. I wish him the best of luck. I too wish to kill that god and destroy that church.

The God of Christianity is not an impaired God whose age has removed him from all reality. Nor should the Church of that God be an oppressive force. Perhaps now is not the time to withdraw from culture and voice our disapproval by boycotting any "anti-God" person or message. Rather I would suggest that it is a better time for us to love our enemies and take the time to listen and to learn. Most of the Church missed its opportunity to wake up to the realities shared by Nietzsche and Lennon. Will this be another repeat? Will we point our fingers and say "tsk tsk tsk" and "shame shame shame" or will we use this as an opportunity to teach our children about the importance of rejecting a God who is not the God of the Scriptures? Will we refuse to be a church who represses those who need the Church the most? The handicapped, the impoverished, the unemployed, the bitter, the broken, the sinful, the idol worshipers, the . . . atheists ? I'd personally love to see Philip Pullman's face (the author of the Golden Compass) when most of the Church in America watched his movie all the while knowing about the agenda behind it. And what if those Christians were to write him and say "Thank you Mr. Pullman because you reminded us that we should overcome evil with love, that we should live like our God is in control, and that we should pull the plank out of our own eye before we judge others. With love and thanks - The congregation of Somewhere-out-there Denominational Church"

I think we would have another C.S. Lewis - who used to be an atheist.

Parents? Parents! Parents.

2007-11-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

"I am they."

It is the best way to describe ourselves in so many ways. For those who have taken the time to look deeply in themselves, we've seen how much our parents have really influenced us. We share attributes of their personalities, their values, their mannerisms, and their habits. Currently with my Sr. High, we have been pushing along with a relationships study. We've combined Biblical principals with psychological research and last night we talked about the roles that families play in our relationships.

Our students did a great job of picking out and sharing examples of family rules, personality compliments (and clashes!), and they could all point out things that we would like to preserve from their families as well as the things that they would like to change. I was reading in Group Magazine this morning about the importance of involving parents in our ministries. It is no secret that if mom and dad influence the way we treat other people, set personal goals, and vote for presidents; they certainly influence how our relationships with God look!

I have noticed that a lot of the growth areas in my kids are growth areas for our entire church community. This morning I reflected on how my current efforts to change our kids as a lesser influence (parents, God, and themselves being higher) may be in folly and that, perhaps, the only way we might see a truly radical transformation within our students is to make sure there is radical transformation happening in our parents. I find myself now wondering what exactly my role is as a Youth Director. I am beginning to think that a stronger ministry to parents is going to rest upon the heart of an Experiential Youth Ministry. What experience will shape a child more than their life at home? What passion for growth will inspire them more than their parent's passion for growth? For me this is a redefining place for me and the way that I understand my role in the Church.

May we remember to always build up those who serve our kids- our parents and our volunteers.

2007-11-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

I recently reviewed the movie Normal Adolescent Behavior (2007) and decided to post some of my thoughts.

The film concept is unique as it follows the lives of 6 friends who have taken vows to limit their relationships to the group alone. Everything happens in the group in the way that one might assume a social commune would function. They experiment together, laugh together, fight together, and keep tokens of their shared experiences in individual boxes.

Beyond being a film about teenage parties, gossip, sex, dating, etc. . . what makes this group of kids so unique is how they started as a group. At a point before the film, they decided to rebel against the "normal" teenage world. A world where people worry about their looks and who's dating who. A world where people are always searching for love and commitment and coming up empty handed. A world devoid of honesty, and authentic friendships, and acceptance. Sound familiar? It should.

Welcome to the place where students can heal from the damaging social norms of teenage culture. Welcome to youth ministry. While the Church or any concept of religion is not addressed in the film, it gave me some powerful revelations. First- as in the film, if we try to keep our kids so close together that they're not given opportunities to break away and engage the real world, we may be causing more damage by "protecting them" than otherwise. Yaconelli does a great job of talking about the dangers of fear/anxiety-based youth ministry in his book Contemplative Youth Ministry. Second- if we're not working to give show the youth of the community we serve that there is an alternative to so many of the painful elements of youth culture, we're probably not doing our jobs. As with anything, if we attempt to create something that isn't Spirit led, it is likely to collapse. Consider this quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "A person who loves community tends to destroy it. But a person who loves people creates community wherever he goes."

May our love create communities that invite all to join. May our love reveal another way of living. May our love abide.

A Visionary Risk

2007-10-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking of Shane Claiborne's vision of being the Church that he dreams of and that is where I am drawing most of my hope. For some time now I have been plagued by the desire to see Youth Ministry change. What if true and helpful and authentic youth ministry was as simple as editing the definition of youth pastor? What if we got away from the Head-of-the-ministry, silly games, relevant speeches, far away mission trips, etc. . and focused on the simplicity of being in community with students and sharing personally what God is teaching the individual? I'm picturing the kind of life that models God's active work and encourages others to seek out God's voice; that gives life to the priesthood of all believers. We all teach and learn together.

What if youth group events were no longer designed to cater towards the interests of kids but to the interests of God? What if God has been convicting me of spending more time with the poor and giving more of myself? What if my response to God's calling was my youth ministry? What if I took my kids and asked them to help sell some of my possessions or what if I canceled our Christmas party which has little spiritual content and we volunteered a night in a homeless shelter?

Would I keep my job? Would that bury me further in my dissatisfaction when the church doesn't understand? Would I ever stand a chance of being hired again? Are any of these ideas appealing to anyone besides myself? Could this really be where God is encouraging me to go?

The Problem With Well-Behaved Youth

2007-10-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Few things will make the members of a church congregation more happy than the sight of well-behaved youth on a Sunday morning. Am I right? We love to talk about how quiet they sit during a sermon, how well they mind their manners, and appreciate their conservative clothing choices. Kudos are shot to the youth pastor from the Elders and the Pastor(s) about how great of a job they've been doing with the youth. While there is certainly nothing wrong with well-behaved youth,we must remember the importance of cleaning the inside of the cup as well as the outside.

We all like results in youth ministry. Unfortunately, what we use to measure results may actually hinder our ability to work on the hearts of students. As an example, most every church would be very pleased to see a group of 20+ students who are polite, considerate, and who know how to socialize in church settings because many of those attributes come with Christian maturity. However if we switched and had 20+ students who are somewhat rough looking, drink the adult's coffee on Sunday mornings, and occasionally swear during a youth meeting- the judgment hammer falls hard. In fact, the second group of could even be growing, have an articulate and personal faith, and be passionate about Jesus' redemptive work in the world but not be noticed as valuable members in the Church.

However our goal should not be to make nice and moral people. Our goal should be to always point our students to Christ and to help them see God's great work in their own lives. I believe that if we are seeing good behavior but not substance, our ministries need to be re-evaluated. May we examine both sides of the cup in our lives and in the lives of our students.

Experiential Youth Ministry? Tell me more. . .

2007-10-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Experiential Youth Ministry blog!

The idea for this blog was birthed from a concept I had read about in Chris Folmsbee's book A New Kind of Youth Ministry. I am a young youth pastor who has been in the ministry trenches for only a year now and, despite a good youth ministry degree, I constantly find myself asking, "What am I supposed to do?!" Perhaps those of you in youth ministry have found yourself asking the same question more than once and I applaud you for asking it. The question itself acknowledges that we don't necessarily have it all figured out and that it is important to examine our reasons for what we do in youth ministry - making sure our actions are always pointing kids to Christ.

It is my hope that this blog will be a place where we can learn and share together our thoughts about youth ministry and examine what God is doing in our midst. So why Experiential Youth Ministry? Good question. It may not be a secret to most of us that honest examinations of our spiritual lives reveal that some of the most dramatic growth that happens will happen with experience. For example, many of us can point easily to a mission's experience, a 30 Hour Famine event, or a personal disaster or accomplishment as mile-markers in our faith journey. I am interested in seeing a youth ministry that partners with students in their lives, transforming every day into an experiential learning experience as they (and we!) seek to grow closer to our Father.

So for those who dream of God being more, us being less; students being more, youth ministry being less - welcome to a blog site to share, learn, and grow as we seek to be faithful servants in God's Kingdom.